Self-indulgence

Am I in my comfort zone?

Self-indulgence is described in the dictionary as the behavior of a person who places his/her comfort as a priority. With that, he stops doing things that require effort, missing great opportunities, harming his own development and his relationships. After all, human relationships are made of sharing and when only one side donates, the scale goes out of balance. Therefore, a comfortable person will hardly be someone who rolls up his sleeves and goes in search of his goals. He will always look for the easiest ways to live, or rather, to survive.

The individual with this behavior lacks initiative and proactivity. With this, he always remains in his comfort zone, running away from challenges and, consequently, from growth.

In the comfort zone, everything is familiar, predictable and seemingly pleasant. Just considering leaving it causes anxiety because it means stepping into a totally unknown world.

But not everything is as it appears to be.

Why is living in the comfort zone harmful?

The comfort zone is cozy at first. Most people do not want to get out of it due to the good sensations it provides. They navigate their lives wrapped in a "dome of protection", without having to make drastic changes. That way, they don't hurt themselves emotionally.

Just as disappointments and frustrations do not happen, however, neither do learnings. Opportunities to grow and become better, wiser, and emotionally strong go unnoticed or are rejected out of fear of taking risks.

The absence of new knowledge and experiences causes boredom, extreme laziness and a feeling of stagnation. In addition, when you remain stationary for a long time, the following scenarios can become reality:

Signs of self-indulgence and its consequences

If you are in doubt about self-indulgence, whether or not it is part of your life, read carefully what I write below:

The days repeat themselves and have no novelty or emotion

It's okay to have a quiet and organized routine, but you need to be aware that things aren't getting too comfortable. Excessive calm can mean a life without risks and, as a consequence, without progress.

* Lagged learning - You don't learn anything new.

When was the last time you learned something new that was really meaningful? Finding this answer will help you understand if your life is too comfortable.

* Your life is without challenges.

Do you often challenge yourself or accept the challenges that other people or life presents you to grow and improve? Know that it is through them that growth happens, because these situations force us to go beyond what we are used to. It is by facing challenges that we can discover our full potential and know ourselves.

* You fear or avoid change.

If you tend to be resistant to transformation, maybe it's because you're letting yourself be carried away by complacency.

* Do you feel stagnant?

Although this place of accommodation is called a “comfort zone”, it is important to emphasize that it is not comfortable at all. Even if it doesn't require any kind of effort, it's a behavior that brings a sense of stagnation, which can become uncomfortable over time.

* Lack of ambition

Often, the word ambition is used in a negative context, but it can, yes, represent something good, such as the desire to evolve and reach higher flights. If you don't have any kind of ambition, neither related to your career, personal life or other areas, you may be living in a situation of self-indulgence.

* You feel that your life is not progressing.

One more sign of being complacent is feeling like you're not making progress. If you look at your life and don't see progress in any aspect of it over the past few years, now is the time to understand why you're doing so.

Tips to get out of complacency and progress.

If you've come to the conclusion that self-indulgence is really taking over your life and you want to change that, start by putting the following tips into practice. This way, you will gradually get used to accepting challenges and embracing the growth that comes with change.

1. Accept the current reality

To get out of complacency, it is first necessary to accept the current reality, only then will you have the motivation to move forward. So don't blame yourself and don't judge yourself, because that will only harm you.

2. List the areas of life you want to change and plan for it.

To organize your ideas, make a list of all your dissatisfactions. This way, you can plan to change your behavior and achieve the desired results. Just be careful not to make too drastic changes at the same time, be patient and respect yourself.

3. Don't wait for the perfect moment.

Have you ever found yourself saying "when I'm financially stabilized / with more time available / living in X place / working with X things, I'll..."?

This thinking is one of the biggest mistakes of those who live in the comfort zone. The perfect moment will probably never come because there are no perfect moments. Waiting for the appropriate period to put plans into practice unconsciously feeds comfort. If you look at it well, there will always be impediments, especially lack of time, to pursue better opportunities for growth. So, take advantage of the certainty of the present moment to act.

4. Embrace the discomfort.

Discomfort is a normal consequence of facing fears and doing things you've never tried before. Instead of looking for ways to minimize it, accept it and live the experience in spite of it.

Apply this mindset when you're about to do something totally different to combat the anxiety of the new.

5. Start challenging yourself

If the idea is to get out of complacency, start challenging yourself in the little things. What you did not perform before, take a risk and start now!

6. Free yourself from the fear of making mistakes

One of the biggest reasons people get complacent is the fear of making mistakes. That's why they spend so much time doing the same things over and over. It is essential that you free yourself from it and accept that failure is natural and part of the human improvement process.

7. Feel the satisfaction of overcoming a challenge

As you allow yourself to overcome small challenges, you will experience the satisfaction of feeling capable. Thus, this will make you feel more and more stimulated to move forward, without fear of failure, just with the desire to become your best version.

8. Be optimistic.

There are many studies that prove the effectiveness of positive thinking, laughter, good mood and optimism to take care of physical and mental health. Good-natured people find it easier to navigate life's difficulties and get back on their feet in the face of challenges. So strive to be optimistic even when the unforeseen multiplies.

One way to do this is through gratitude! Make a list of three things you are grateful for every day, but especially when you are feeling down, it will boost your positivity.

Did you see how self-indulgence is harmful and that it is possible to get rid of it? Take that step and tomorrow you'll be grateful that you took that action today.

Seek professional help

In addition to our tips, it is essential to seek professional help if emotions are taking over and getting out of your comfort zone is too challenging.

You may have had one or more bad experiences that indicated that staying comfortable and out of “trouble” is safer.

If emotional trauma is keeping you a prisoner of self-indulgence and sameness, consider scheduling an appointment with a competent doctor or therapist to address your emotional issues. Therapy helps patients to free themselves from their traumas in a safe and confidential way, respecting each one's privacy and rhythm.

Regular therapy is a great way to better understand your triggers and identify ways to better manage your emotions.

IMPORTANT: We are Holistic Therapists and our treatment is alternative. Even with satisfactory results, it is essential to emphasize that only duly qualified doctors can diagnose diseases, indicate treatments and prescribe medication.

All the best.

See you next week

Shalom!

Debora and Daniel Wiseman