Selfishness, egocentrism: when we only see ourselves, we cease to exist!

“Hell is other people”, said the French philosopher and writer Jean-Paul Sartre. This phrase exemplifies the greatest obstacle in human life: the conflict of interests with other people.

We live in a time when individualism and solitude prevail, even when we are together with family, friends, colleagues or "virtual friends". There is no lack of a screen where we add and are added, but there is still a lack of "in live" contact, true friendship and attention. When we "disconnect" from the virtual world, many enter a "loop" of loneliness and existential emptiness.

Of course, taking care of ourselves, in addition to bringing us closer to happiness, is a sign of sanity. But, to what extent can we protect ourselves without being considered selfish or self-centered?

Here comes that question that won't shut up, but, what does it mean to be selfish or self-centered?". In this sense, it is the antonym of altruism."

"Egocentrism is characterized by the simple application of selfishness. Given the psychoanalytic definition of Ego, the egocentrist, prioritizing his ego, is simply prioritizing his reason over the reason of others, ignoring the ego of others." Wikipedia.

People with this profile can also manifest traits of arrogance, inflexibility, pride or conceit.

In the case of egocentrism, the problem goes further. The individual not only cares about his own needs more than the other's, he also truly believes that he should be the center of attention.

What are the characteristics of a selfish person?

Regardless of the nomenclature you choose to use, the fact is that people with this profile exhibit some typical thoughts and behaviors since childhood.

# People with difficulty sharing what is theirs;

# vain; # Competitive; # They do not assume their responsibilities, mistakes and failures;

They believe that everyone acts that way and therefore they don't need to change.

Consequences of selfishness

Obviously, it is difficult to live with people with these characteristics. This non-ecological way of being, which disregards the needs of others, has harmful consequences in different areas of life, both for the person themselves and for the people around them.

* In the love relationship: A successful love relationship is one in which there is respect and balance. For this to happen, the two parties involved need to give up their egos to find a middle ground, especially in the face of opposing opinions. This individual usually demands a lot but doesn't bother to reciprocate. With time and intimacy, it's natural for people to want to get away from someone like that.

* In friendship relationships: Just as selfishness affects the life of a couple, the same can be said of a circle of friends. The essence of friendship is cooperation, that is, mutual help.In the professional field: In the professional sector it can also be a real battleground for selfish people.

Selfish behavior is a reflection of a childish character, which may have genetic or environmental origins. It causes catastrophic consequences in your personal, social and professional life.

Although we have the illusion that selfish people always take advantage or profit in life, this is a big mistake. We all need each other to achieve our goals, which requires a minimum of empathy and altruism. Therefore, if you want to be happy, try to maintain an ecological and respectful relationship with those around you.

Examples of selfishness show and confirm that the problem exists, and many people become unhappy because of their own irrationality. Look at your life and learn a lesson from it, and here's the good news, you can change and get rid of selfishness, it's essentially up to you.

Seeking balance in selfishness

The intensity with which we practice selfishness is a crucial factor in characterizing it as positive or negative. The selfishness that is shaped by self-care and self-preservation has the power to benefit ourselves and our social circle. However, selfishness driven only by self-satisfaction can cause harm not only to the collective, but to ourselves. By disregarding the limits and needs of others to achieve our own goals, we create a general malaise, which causes the withdrawal of the people around us.

How to treat Selfishness?

Valuable tips First of all, it is necessary to recognize that you are selfish. If you identify with some of the characteristics mentioned above, recognizing it is already a big step towards change. It is essential to fragment this process and have a lot of patience.

1. Change your perspective. Stop always putting yourself first. It is necessary to start leading a fairer and more responsible life;

2. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Seeing things through someone else's eyes, even for a short time, can bring about significant changes in any individual's life;

3. Learn to be humble and modest. Remember that we are all the same;

4. Don't let your past dictate your future. There will be difficulties ahead, not everyone is aware of this process of change. Start changing gradually, without giving up, always for the better, without getting frustrated;

5. Learn to differentiate between what you want and what you need. The selfish lives following the mantra "I want...", You will notice that your life becomes much simpler after giving up certain superfluous things;

6. Learn to praise others sincerely without fear of competition. The selfish person does not like to share the focus of attention, as he always wants to be alone in the spotlight;

7. Start accepting criticism. Much is constructive;

8. Make a habit of listing all the good things you have in your life. The selfish person always suffers from a lack of satiety;

9. Show interest in people. Do favors without expecting anything in return;

10. Make a habit of listening carefully. A conversation should be a two-way street. If you tend to hog all of your interactions, start working on your listening skills.

11. Do volunteer work. Volunteering can open your eyes and help you see that the world is full of people who aren't as lucky in life as you are;

12. Adopt a pet. Any pet generates a lot of responsibility. It is for these and other reasons that you will become less selfish;

12. Stop talking about yourself all the time. The selfish individual spends all his time talking about what he thinks, wants and his problems;

13. Thank people;

14. Stop trying to control everything;

15. Seek more pleasant and altruistic company in your daily life.

Always pay attention:

>>> Changing perspectives is not easy, but you can do it one step at a time;

.>>> Don't judge people, but try to learn from them;

>>> Don't expect to see instant results;

>>> Stop starting all your sentences with "I...".

>>> Share things with people. This will soon stop being a sacrifice and become a habit.

In addition to our tips, it is always important to seek professional help from a competent therapist, in the process of self-development and self-knowledge, if selfishness is taking over you and the process of change is too challenging.

IMPORTANT: We are Holistic Therapists and our treatment is alternative. Even presenting satisfactory results, it is essential to emphasize that only duly qualified physicians can diagnose diseases, recommend treatments and prescribe medication. If you need to take medicine, do so only with proper MEDICAL ADVICE.

In addition, it is ESSENTIAL that you continue with therapy sessions even if you feel better after starting drug treatment.

All the best.

See you next week

Shalom!

Debora and Daniel Wiseman