What is Monophobia? Why are we so afraid of being alone?

Monophobia is an extreme fear of being alone. Many people, as well as animals, suffer from monophobia, and it's not an easy fear to overcome. Monophobia is also known by other names such as Isolophobia or Autophobia. It is characterized by extreme insecurity, anxiety and depression when left alone, even for a short time. As a result, the person refuses to sleep, eat or even go to the bathroom alone. People suffering from monophobia are unable to do many simple tasks. The fear of being alone also leads to bad relationships, for example, where the individual would rather be abused than be left alone.

We were brought up to believe that only those in a relationship are happy. Therefore, being in a status of a single person can be seen as synonymous with failure, which is absolutely not true.

Finding the ideal partner is not as simple as we see in movies or romantic novels. When we talk about love, nothing is simple or obvious. Even knowing this, many people are terrified of ending up alone.

In the case of women, from the age of 30 this fear can be even more intense because that is when family and social pressure starts to charge them to be a wife and mother. And most women want to be in a stable relationship before having a child.

When the fear of not finding a partner is too great, the person can develop a phobia called anuptophobia.   Anuptophobia is an irrational fear of being single. Those suffering from this disorder can maintain toxic, abusive and unhappy relationships simply because they can't stand the idea of being a single person. Many reasons can influence the manifestation of anuptophobia, but the main ones are:

# Past traumatic experiences

# Low self-esteem

# Jealousy

# Fear of rejection and abandonment

# Emotional dependency

# Lack of affection and love in childhood

Symptoms of Monophobia

As with other types of phobias, the fear of being alone also triggers a variety of physical and emotional symptoms:

Physical symptoms:

Feeling unsteady, having dizziness or vertigo;

Choking sensation;

Increased heart rate or palpitations;

Excessive sweating;

Chest pain and discomfort;

Nausea or gastrointestinal discomfort;

Tremors;

Numbness;

Other symptoms

Inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy;

Fear of dieing;

Fear of lack of control

Cold/heat waves

Fear of fainting

Causes of the individual's fear of being alone

The fear of being alone can occur due to several reasons such as:

# Problems and traumas in childhood or in the past;

# Long period of stress;

# Anxiety;

# Bad relationships;

# Poor housing conditions and other socio-economic factors can also lead to monophobia.

A recent view says that most anxieties and phobias occur in people who have precarious or poorly developed strategies to deal with difficult situations in life. Children raised by anxious parents are also more likely to suffer from the most common phobias. They inherit the anxiety that causes them to react negatively to stressful situations and events.

A person who suffers from a true fear of being alone is also likely to lack confidence in the fact that activities can be performed in isolation. This person feels that having a trusted person with them at all times is essential and failure to do so can lead to death or being "out of control" when situations that cause panic arise.

What to do if you are afraid of being alone? Some tips:

1. Improve your social relationships: This moment is an excellent opportunity to connect in a deeper way with other people. You can see your friends and family more often and enjoy meeting new and interesting people.

2. Stop predicting the future: Don't allow anxiety to dominate you and don't keep trying to predict the future. Just because you're alone today doesn't mean it will always be like this. So live the present. If you are more relaxed, other people will definitely notice and this will increase your attractiveness.

3. Do not give in to any social pressure: Each individual is unique, each one has their own needs and everything arrives in due time.

4. Stop believing that finding love will solve all your problems. Being with the right person makes life better, more exciting and happy. The problem is wanting desperately to be with someone to fill a void or lack of affection. Keep in mind that no relationship solves anyone's life. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

Treatments for monophobia

Many individuals who suffer from monophobia develop coping strategies and self-help techniques to try to solve the problem, but they are not always efficient or effective. Alternatively, one can seek out treatments from a psychiatrist/psychologist and alternative therapies, which are very effective for treating many types of phobias. Thus, medical treatment is often necessary when the monophobic person uses alcohol or other drugs to escape this intense anxiety of the moment.

Fear of being alone cannot be cured with medicine, generally; However, short-term drug therapy is known to be effective in treating the symptoms. Beta blockers, anxiolytics and antidepressants can be taken under the guidance of a doctor to deal with the stress and panic caused by monophobia. It is important to note that there are many withdrawal symptoms one could experience when stopping these drugs, and the process must be done gradually and under medical supervision.

Alternative therapies include various relaxation techniques, and in addition to these therapies, simple lifestyle changes known to reduce anxiety can help reduce the symptoms of monophobia, such as:

> Do physical exercises;

> Have a healthy and balanced diet

> Sleep well and long enough to rest

> Reduce or avoid caffeine and other stimulants

> Reduce or avoid the use of alcohol and other drugs

> Medication Should only be used under the supervision of a physician.

In addition to our tips, it is always important to seek professional help from a competent therapist, in the long process of self-development and self-knowledge, if monophobia is taking you over and harming your routine and the process of change is too challenging.

In addition to all this, it is ESSENTIAL that you continue with therapy sessions even if you feel better after starting drug treatment.

IMPORTANT: We are Holistic Therapists and our treatment is alternative. Even presenting satisfactory results, it is essential to emphasize that only duly qualified physicians can diagnose diseases, recommend treatments and prescribe medication. If you need to take medicine, do so only with proper MEDICAL ADVICE.

All the best.

See you next week

Shalom!

Debora and Daniel Wiseman